Women Listen Up

*If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

*Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

*Don't cut your hair. Ever.

*Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect gift.

*If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

*Sometimes, he is not thinking about you. Live with it.

*Don't ask about his thoughts unless you want to discuss navel lint,shotguns, or monster trucks.

*Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different. It's just like every other cat.

*A dog is better than ANY cat. Period.

*Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.

*Shopping is not a sport.

*Anything you wear is fine. Really.

*You have enough clothes.

*You have too many shoes.

*Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect him to submit to it.

*Your ex-boyfriend is, was, and always will be an idiot.

*Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

*No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark important days on a calender.

*Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes. What makes you think hewould be any good at choosing which pair, out of your thirty, would lookgood with your dress?

*Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

*A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

*Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

*Foreign movies are best left to foreigners.

*Check your oil.

*Don't give him 50 rules when 25 will do.

*It is neither in your best interest nor his to take the quiz together.

*Anything said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
Allcomments become null and void after 7 days.

*If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret women, don't expect us to actlike soap opera men.

*If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the waysmakes you sad and/or angry, we meant the other one.

*You can either ask him to do something or tell him how you want it done-not both.

*Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

*Consider golf a mini-vacation from each other. He needs it just as badas you do.

*Telling him that the models in men's magazines are airbrushed makes youlook jealous and certainly is not going to deter him from reading them.

*The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months.

*Say what you mean and mean what you say.

*Dont expect him to read your mind. It doenst work.

*Dont try to act like you care when you dont cuz he'd know you wanted something.

*Want to go out with your ex for a movie; go but dont expect your current boyfriend to get all jealous or anything.

*Messaging a guy to ask if he's alright doesnt work. If your truly even slightly concerned then pick up the damn phone and give him a call.

*If he's wrong tell him; dont make fun of him in front of all his friends; cuz he'd do the same to you.

*If your dressed like a slut be prepared to be treated like a slut and then dont complain that everyone's looking down your blouse when there is a neckline thats down to your fucking stomach and your tits are spilling over and your arse is out of your skirt.