A Journey

Life has many journies. Everyone of us have different paths and different directions and different ways and different goals... Over the last couple of months there has been some very serious soul searching that i have gone through in my life. I am about to loose just about the only person that i ever truly loved and i dont know what i should do about it. I cant say that she loved me back but then i do know that she had some sort of feelings cause she has admitted to it to a lot of people. But at this point in my life i dont know what i should do? I've been trying to come to terms with myself over the last couple of months and therefore things have been very difficult. The journey has been takin place for about a year and three months so far.... When looking back at this particular point in time its irrational to think that i could have been so stupid in some issues, when i count and read back on everything that i have done its just totally weird that i did certain things cause its totally out of my charachter. I dont know what had prompted me to do certain things but i did. I hate myself for those things now. I just wish that i could have a better understanding of life and my temper. Ever since the 4th of september 2004 everything has had a very big turnover. The way i view things, people, choices, life, friendships, goals, you name it; everything has changed. Maybe its cause i feel like i'm totally lost and dont know what the hell i'm doing and mayb its cause i'm just being me. I dont think that i am lost in certain areas cause i still do know what i want to do with my life and what i what to acheive with this life. But then i just want people to stop interfearing and to just stop butting in when its not needed and when i havent asked them to. I guess that i am more angry at myself for letting this happen than i am at the people around me. Maybe this journey would come to an end soon and another one would beging soon. Cause i hate dwelling on this for so long. I want to stop it. I want to move on. N I WILL DO IT ! !