Bunch of blonde jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.————————————————————————Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?A: The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.————————————————————————Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.————————————————————————Q: How do you give a blonde more headroom?A: Adjust the steering wheel.————————————————————————Q: Why did the blonde have lip stick on her steering wheel?A: She was trying to blow the horn.————————————————————————Q: Why does a blonde wear panties?A: To keep her ankles warm.————————————————————————Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.————————————————————————Q: How does a blonde turn on the lights after having sex?A: Opens the car door.————————————————————————Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.————————————————————————Q: Why aren’t blondes good cattle herders?A: Because they can’t even keep two calves together!————————————————————————Q: What did the blonde’s right leg say to the left leg?A: Nothing. They’ve never met.————————————————————————Q: What did the blonde’s mom say to her before she went out?A: If you’re not in bed by midnight, come home.————————————————————————Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?A: Humpme Dumpme.————————————————————————Q: What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?A: At the circus you’ll find a cunning array of stunts.————————————————————————Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?A: She peed on her corn flakes.————————————————————————Q: What did the blind blonde say to her new boyfriend as she was making love to him?A: “Funny, you don’t feel Jewish.”————————————————————————Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?A: She turned it over and used the other side.————————————————————————Q: What did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra?A: Thanks for the refill.————————————————————————Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?A: “It’s OK Daddy, I’m not hurt.”————————————————————————Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.————————————————————————Q: How do you plant dope?A: Bury a blonde.————————————————————————Q: Why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?A: Because he didn’t want them shitting in the streets during parades.————————————————————————Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?A: Wave to her.————————————————————————Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?A: With a tire gauge!————————————————————————Q: How does a blonde part their hair?A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)A2: By doing the splits.————————————————————————Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?A1: She drops her nail-file!A2: Who cares?A3: She says, “Next”.A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.A6: I mean, who really cares?A7: The batteries have run out.————————————————————————Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!————————————————————————Q: How do you kill a blonde?A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.————————————————————————Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.————————————————————————Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?A: Unfertilized.————————————————————————Q: How do you drown a blond?A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.A2: Don’t tell her to swallow.A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.————————————————————————Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.