Dear Dad

   A father walking by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed   nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.
   Then he saw an envelope   propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad" With the   worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with   trembling hands:   Dear Dad,   It is with deep great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to   elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you   and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so   wonderful. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her   piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so   much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.   Joan says that we'll be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and   has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We also share a   dream of having many more children.   Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt   anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the   commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll    pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she    sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how    to  take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can    get to know your grandchildren.   Your son,    Chad   P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just   wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report   card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me    to come home.