Confucius says

1 - Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone.
2 - Man who run in front of car get tired.
3 - Man who run behind car get exhausted.
4 - Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
5 - Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
6 - Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
7 - Man with one chopstick go hungry.
8 - Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
9 - Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
10 - Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.
11 - Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
12 - War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left.
13 - Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
14 - Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
15 - It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.
16 - Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
17 - Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
18 - Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
19 - Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
20 - Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
21 - Crowded elevator smell different to midget.