In Praise of older women

An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of thenight & ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older womandoesn't care what you think. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. Ayounger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and theolder a man gets, the weaker his libido gets ... which is whynature intended young guys to go out with older women andyoung women to go out with older men. An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the daywithout looking like she just had an adventure inside a jamjar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's noneed to develop a phobia about committing to her. The lastthing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny,dependent lover! Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell youthat you are an asshole if you're acting like one. A youngwoman will say nothing, just in case it means you might breakup with her. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, ifyou impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the lastto know... Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can'thelp you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey. An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She'susing you. Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A youngerwoman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call... Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dialPizza Hut Take out. An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends whenshe's with you, in case you get any ideas... Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to havingan affair, because somehow they always know. Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over theyears. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thuspractically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease. Older women are dignified. They are beyond having ascreaming match with you in the middle of the night in apublic park. Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. Ayounger woman may need some time to grasp this fact. An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the bestyears of her youth because chances are someone else hasstolen them first.