Letter from men to women

FROM MEN TO WOMEN
GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPENUPON A COPY OF THIS:
1) The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storagelocation.
2) Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that Iwill come home with the wrong thing.
3) When watching TV hugging is always fine because I canstill see the screen. Kissing should only be done duringtimeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited tothis period as you stand a much better chance of getting animmediate response.
4) When we are watching your show and I change the channelsduring a commercial do not hassle me that they are over tochange the channel back. I always know when the timing isright. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to goback, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
5) If you need help with the laundry, I am more thanwilling to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In mymind this is half the chore and I am now free to return tothe couch.
6) If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to dosomething it is not necessary for you to call hiswife/girlfriend to discuss it.
7) If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes.And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from makingthat reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anythingyet and if I do it will be your fault.
8) I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
9) Just tell me what you want me to wear before I getdressed. And remember that this takes me less than tenminutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I amgetting dressed, not getting ready.
10) Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if acertain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this ano win situation and would rather just wait for you to getdressed while watching TV.
11) If you want me to put the seat down when I am finishedthen you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It'sonly fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing thebowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain ofits own.
12) I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
13) Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly likestadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.